Tomorrow — May 31st — is a special day. It’s my uncle Sanjay’s birthday, an uncle I never had the opportunity to meet on this earth but one day look forward to meeting.

I want to dedicate today’s post to him. Through honoring him, I also honor my mom, who loved her younger brother very much on this earth and now continues to love him in Heaven.

Sanjay Mama, as he is known to me (for the non-Hindi-speakers reading this post, “Mama” is the term we use to refer to one’s mother’s brother), was born on May 31, 1964 and left this earth on January 25, 1986. He was born with muscular dystrophy, a degenerative muscular disease, and battled it with courage and grace throughout his life.

I rarely asked my mom about Sanjay Mama, something I wish I had done more of, because I was too scared to possibly see her in pain; but over the years I would hear her talk, or see her write, about him and as a result I learnt wonderful things about him.

I don’t think I can do any of these things justice, and although I can’t for this topic either, today I want to talk about my mom’s love for her little brother and what it has specifically taught me.

Despite not asking her too much about her relationship with Sanjay Mama, I am acutely aware of how deep my mom’s love was, and is, for her beautiful brother — it was just that apparent. Ever since he was born, about six and a half years after my mom, they shared a special bond.

I have often pictured what it would’ve looked like, so many years ago, to see my mom as the older sister, taking care of and protecting and loving Sanjay Mama. The thing is though, I didn’t have to see it to know that this picture existed.

It’s a picture that touched my heart many years ago and has affected me deeply. It’s this picture that has shown me what it means to love my younger brother.

It’s not a coincidence that Nikhil and I have an incredibly special relationship. He’s my younger brother whom I want to forever take care of and protect. Despite our age gap of five years, which was significant when we were younger, we were always very close. When Nikhil was in kindergarten and I was in fifth grade, my parents bought us a trampoline, and every day after school we would come home and jump on it together. One time, Nikhil fell while jumping and broke his foot. I picked him up and carried him inside — I just wanted to take care of him.

I can’t take credit for developing this protective tendency on my own; I learned a lot of it from the loving older sister-younger brother relationship between my mom and Sanjay Mama. I don’t doubt that my mom’s love for her brother also shaped the way that she taught Sanam and me to love and care for Nikhil.

Sanjay Mama impacted my mom in countless and wonderful ways. The one I can speak to best is that he taught her how to be a loving and caring big sister. But in my mom’s own words from an email, he also “set us an example of how to bear a great physical disability with faith, finding joy in being with others, kindness and loving God through it all.” This example prepared my mom to set the same inspiring example herself.

A few weeks ago, Sanam sent over a quote she came across:

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

This quote perfectly speaks to both Sanjay Mama and my mom.

Sanjay Mama experienced a lot of hardship in his life, but he chose to find his way out of the depths and become a person who radiated beauty. So did my mom. Today, they are joyfully reunited in Heaven, continuing to develop the dear relationship that was born 52 years ago.

I love my Sanjay Mama so much. Without having met him, I honestly have always felt that he and I would have a uniquely special relationship. I think it’s rooted in the fact that I love my mom so incredibly much and that she loves her brother so incredibly much. It’s almost strange to me how close I feel to Sanjay Mama without our lives on Earth having overlapped.

In another email commemorating Sanjay Mama’s life, my mom wrote, “This life is so short, before we know it our loved ones are gone — some sooner than others — and it is a pity when our only focus is on the here and now and we forget God’s loving hand in all that He does for us and has given us. I remain forever grateful for Sanjay‘s life to our gracious God.”

In another, she wrote, “With the time passing so fast, it will not be long before we see him in Heaven! His life was a precious gift that taught us much.”

My mom looked forward to, with joy, being reunited with her little brother in Heaven and experiencing God’s loving kingdom. I hope that we may all develop this peace and joy in knowing that one day too we will be reunited with these two beautiful, beautiful individuals who have truly made this earth a better place.

Happy birthday dearest Sanjay Mama. I can’t wait to meet you.